Weather you like it or not!

The India Meteorological Department (IMD), also referred to as the Met Office, is a Government of India organization that is responsible for meteorological observations, weather forecasts, and detecting earthquakes.

Read again; WEATHER FORECASTS!

Now, am I the only one here or did you also pass a smirk as you read that term associated with our Met Office? After so many monsoons, I am sure that the average Indian is cynical enough to read “Indian Met Dept forecasts” as an oxymoron.

The way it works is that there is some middle-aged Amma working for the IMD who almost become an Air Hostess in IA or AI had it not been for her binocular eyewear or stinking coconut hairoil. She wakes up in the morning and sipping her hot cup of coffee wanders to the window. Outstretches her hand and leaves it there for a good 10 mins. If the hand’s wet, we will get non-stop rains for the next 3 days accompanied with thunder and lightning. Hand’s dry means no rains for Indian peninsula in this season, prepare for drought. If the long combed hair on back of her hand flutters then it’s breezy and if hair stands erect then it will snow in Chennai (even if its 40 degrees under shade and the shiver was only because her coffee went cold).

A friend told me that one of the bigger sources of forex for India was exporting satellite data to the western world. We export it because apparently we don’t need it! IF WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT, THEN WE DON'T NEED IT!

Bermuda has a better way of reading weather. And it does not have to be paid a salary!

Monsoon

So its common knowledge now that monsoon has hit Bombay. Yaay!

And how do we know? Flip through TV channels and if you see 26th July 2005 reruns / references or some half wet fake journalist wadding through toe-deep puddles, then be sure that its drizzling somewhere in Mumbai. I mean, why can't we let the ghost of 26th July rest? It was not politically motivated, nor a terrorist act sponsored by naughty neighbours. It happened once, may or may not happen again. But repeating it million times on TV whenever there's more than 5 drops of rainfall will not make it go away! ShIt happens! No one’s fault.

Shoe'd at sight .... Boot Naturally!

Hurling shoes at politicians is like a fashion trend now and is catching up like wild fire. I think that more than the Iraqi journalist, credit must go to Bush for its popularity and effectiveness. Every other day we read news about some footwear being hurled at a politician. What is interesting is that it gets immediate publicity and many times even the message gets conveyed loud and clear.

Considering the success of the shoe-throwing form of protest, I am prompted to use it in my organization during some open forum, particularly after my appraisals. But before putting it into practice, I would have to 'think through' this.

We need to consider the practical aspects and take necessary precautions of the action. To begin with, I don't want to risk a new shoe on my manager, knowing that he likes to take credit for all the publicity that comes his way, he might keep my shoe. It will be a little awkward to walk back home with just one shoe on my feet and the shame of exposing my tattered stinky socks.

The timing of the throw is also important, I cannot do that during his lunch hour, because having tasted his wife’s chapattis and I fear he might want to finish the rest of his curry with my shoe and hurl the chapatti back at me… that would hurt! It will also look weirder to wear a leather-like chapatti on my left shoe on my way back home (though I am sure it might be more durable).

The type of shoe is probably the most important factor. The large, heavy or with pointy corners are not preferred, we want to make our point and not make a dent (literally) on the boss’s forehead. It might be a tad embarrassing if some news headline reads “Caterpillar flattens boss’s nose, man-hunt on for employee with one shoe”

Another risk of starting the trend is that my subordinate, 6 inches taller and 20 kilos heavier, might want to demonstrate his aim at/on me. I know he is disgruntled after the appraisals as he keeps on snorting at me whenever I assign a new task to him.

Stealing one from the near-by temple during prayer time would be wiser, firstly, it will be difficult to trace the real owner, and more importantly, I will not be losing my hard earned shoe. With these thoughts in my mind, I took off to the Ganesh temple near my house to select the best fit shoe from those left outside by unassuming devotees. For the rest of the story watch aaj-tak or read TOI tomorrow.

Here’s to the crazy ones

Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They invent.
They imagine.
They heal.
They explore.
They create.
They inspire.
They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Mumbai meri jaan .... but something is wrong somewhere ....

In Mumbai, normal life, it seems, is the time between two terror attacks on the city.

When the largest democracy in the world becomes one of the twenty most dangerous places to live in, then something is surely wrong.

When gun yielding young men are roaming free spraying bullets at innocent civilians for no reason at all then something is wrong.

When the politicians take this as an opportunity to gain some cheap publicity or sling mud on each other rather than debating on a solution to the problem then something is wrong.

When the deputy chief minister thinks that this is a small issue that could happen in every big city then something is wrong.

When the regional parties can use force against harmless 'outsiders' to protect the so-called local pride but cannot use any of this force to tackle the terrorists or help the injured then something is wrong.

When even after getting frustrated and sick to the stomuch about the on-going terror strikes on my motherland, all I do is sit and write a blog .... something is wrong

Vote for .....

Listing down some of the achievements of our esteemed politicians in recent times ....
-Driving Tata out from W. Bengal
-Creating a hue and cry about the N-Deal without knowing head or tails about it!
-Bribing MPs and accepting bribes for Trust motions in the Parliament. On top of that, bringing wads of currency notes in the session and creating a scene about it
-Killing converts and bragging about it
-Appealling to pardon convicted terrorists
-Claim that all police encounters in which Terrorists get killed are 'fake'.
-Support reservations and treat common man as vote bank.

The list goes on .... I dont remember any of these as the reason why I had voted for them.

Hollow-scope

If your horoscope says that you will not believe your horoscope then what should you do?

If you believe your horoscope as mentioned above, then your horoscope is incorrect because it said that you will not believe it. If you don't believe your horoscope then you proved it right and it means that you should have believed it!! But doing so will prove it wrong!!!

Makes sense??