Thursday, May 31, 2007

Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97... wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.
Mary Schmich
Chicago Tribune

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Yonder sits the Fourth Estate!

It used to be revered as the Fourth Estate and was once quoted by Edmund Burke as “the most important than them all”. Now, it would be fair to fit them one notch above the lifeless TV soaps and probably a couple of wedges below the cricketing world dominated by minnows and match fixers. Gone are the formative years of Indian television when the baatmiyan used to be our rare source of truth and one national newspaper in the morning used to be our connection with the outside world. For those who desired to know the truth, these limited sources used to be adequate. We used to turn on the TV to dissect a rumor, now we turn to rumors to validate the TV claims.

Rummage through any of those 100+ channels on the idiot box and you are more than likely to trip on some histrionic ‘breaking news’ of yet another rescue operation for the 6 year old fallen in a ditch or a 60 year old professor in Allahbad University having an affair with his student. If it is your lucky day then they will pull you by your ears and rub your nose into the belly of some ‘sting operation’ on some local MLA or some drunken cop accepting bribes!! Flip, flip, flip, and stop! … Couple of retired *one-night-wonder* Cricketers wearing moth-infested blazers would be giving their ‘resident expert analysis’ on how to win the next World Cup. Next, two scruffy local politicians would be arguing on totally tangent issues and an even louder ‘holier-than-thou’ news compare would be asking non-coherent questions in his Bihari accent about why Mumbai can or cannot become Shanghai! In the background we can see elaborate graphical pie with the viewers opinion poll results. (13% feel that Tendulkar should sack the waiter in his restaurant who spilled soup on Chappels wife). Bored, no worries … Flip, flip, and stop! … Voila, we have the latest on the numerology analysis of how a Star son and the former Miss World will pair if there is an extra ‘A’ in their first name followed by a silent ‘g’. Puhleeez!! As if we care!

Seriously, what is with these TV polls? And who picks those poll questions? Who should be Indian Crickets next captain? Should Amitabh have invited Shatrugan Sinha in his sons wedding? Will that 6 year old survive his plunge in the ditch?

The newspapers are no different. Gone are the days when the front-page headlines used to be a new national policy announced by the PM or an update on the emergency. Now it is all about masala. About Star sons and billionaire politicians. About Hollywood Actors in India and how their security misbehaved with the media. Some veteran actor is not willing to pay his horse’s medical bill, or someone threw acid on his girlfriend because she won’t come to the movie with him! Remove the larger than life print ads from the newspapers and you will probably end up with a couple of square inches of ‘news’ and a square foot of daily comics (add to it a sudoku and a dying crossword). Sometimes I feel that the only real value of money I am getting from a newspaper is when I sell it to the bhangaarwalla!

On a serious note, I do realize that even those news corps have to feed their employees and of course they need moolah to do so. They will go to any extremes to get the green, just like any other normal business. The bottom line is that they are showing us what we want to see. But somewhere down the process, don’t you feel that this is turning us into an immature audience and them an unethical orchestrator? If this downward spiral has to be reversed then I believe that the mighty will have to mediate. And I still believe that the pen is mightier!

Monday, May 21, 2007

All glory is fleeting

For over a thousand years, Roman conquerors returning from the wars enjoyed the honor of a triumph - a tumultuous parade.
In the procession came trumpeters and musicians and strange animals from the conquered territories, together with carts laden with treasure and captured armaments.
The conqueror rode in a triumphal chariot, the dazed prisoners walking in chains before him. Sometimes his children, robed in white, stood with him in the chariot, or rode the trace horses.
A slave stood behind the conqueror, holding a golden crown, and whispering in his ear a warning: that all glory is fleeting.
-George Patton

Friday, May 18, 2007

10 Things you want to believe ... but ...

1. All politicians are honest (or now a days even a few of them are honest).
2. If the forecast says it will rain, it WILL rain!
3. I never lie to my parents!
4. My manager says that I will get an exceptional rating in my appraisal.
5. She doesnot care whether I am rich or not!
6. Tomorrow I will start exercising.
7. I don't work for money.
8. I know when to stop.
9. The system works.
10. Someone will read this blog!