Thursday, June 24, 2010

Weather you like it or not!

The India Meteorological Department (IMD), also referred to as the Met Office, is a Government of India organization that is responsible for meteorological observations, weather forecasts, and detecting earthquakes.

Read again; WEATHER FORECASTS!

Now, am I the only one here or did you also pass a smirk as you read that term associated with our Met Office? After so many monsoons, I am sure that the average Indian is cynical enough to read “Indian Met Dept forecasts” as an oxymoron.

The way it works is that there is some middle-aged Amma working for the IMD who almost become an Air Hostess in IA or AI had it not been for her binocular eyewear or stinking coconut hairoil. She wakes up in the morning and sipping her hot cup of coffee wanders to the window. Outstretches her hand and leaves it there for a good 10 mins. If the hand’s wet, we will get non-stop rains for the next 3 days accompanied with thunder and lightning. Hand’s dry means no rains for Indian peninsula in this season, prepare for drought. If the long combed hair on back of her hand flutters then it’s breezy and if hair stands erect then it will snow in Chennai (even if its 40 degrees under shade and the shiver was only because her coffee went cold).

A friend told me that one of the bigger sources of forex for India was exporting satellite data to the western world. We export it because apparently we don’t need it! IF WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT, THEN WE DON'T NEED IT!

Bermuda has a better way of reading weather. And it does not have to be paid a salary!



Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Monsoon

So its common knowledge now that monsoon has hit Bombay. Yaay!

And how do we know? Flip through TV channels and if you see 26th July 2005 reruns / references or some half wet fake journalist wadding through toe-deep puddles, then be sure that its drizzling somewhere in Mumbai. I mean, why can't we let the ghost of 26th July rest? It was not politically motivated, nor a terrorist act sponsored by naughty neighbours. It happened once, may or may not happen again. But repeating it million times on TV whenever there's more than 5 drops of rainfall will not make it go away! ShIt happens! No one’s fault.