Shoe'd at sight .... Boot Naturally!

Hurling shoes at politicians is like a fashion trend now and is catching up like wild fire. I think that more than the Iraqi journalist, credit must go to Bush for its popularity and effectiveness. Every other day we read news about some footwear being hurled at a politician. What is interesting is that it gets immediate publicity and many times even the message gets conveyed loud and clear.

Considering the success of the shoe-throwing form of protest, I am prompted to use it in my organization during some open forum, particularly after my appraisals. But before putting it into practice, I would have to 'think through' this.

We need to consider the practical aspects and take necessary precautions of the action. To begin with, I don't want to risk a new shoe on my manager, knowing that he likes to take credit for all the publicity that comes his way, he might keep my shoe. It will be a little awkward to walk back home with just one shoe on my feet and the shame of exposing my tattered stinky socks.

The timing of the throw is also important, I cannot do that during his lunch hour, because having tasted his wife’s chapattis and I fear he might want to finish the rest of his curry with my shoe and hurl the chapatti back at me… that would hurt! It will also look weirder to wear a leather-like chapatti on my left shoe on my way back home (though I am sure it might be more durable).

The type of shoe is probably the most important factor. The large, heavy or with pointy corners are not preferred, we want to make our point and not make a dent (literally) on the boss’s forehead. It might be a tad embarrassing if some news headline reads “Caterpillar flattens boss’s nose, man-hunt on for employee with one shoe”

Another risk of starting the trend is that my subordinate, 6 inches taller and 20 kilos heavier, might want to demonstrate his aim at/on me. I know he is disgruntled after the appraisals as he keeps on snorting at me whenever I assign a new task to him.

Stealing one from the near-by temple during prayer time would be wiser, firstly, it will be difficult to trace the real owner, and more importantly, I will not be losing my hard earned shoe. With these thoughts in my mind, I took off to the Ganesh temple near my house to select the best fit shoe from those left outside by unassuming devotees. For the rest of the story watch aaj-tak or read TOI tomorrow.

Here’s to the crazy ones

Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They invent.
They imagine.
They heal.
They explore.
They create.
They inspire.
They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Mumbai meri jaan .... but something is wrong somewhere ....

In Mumbai, normal life, it seems, is the time between two terror attacks on the city.

When the largest democracy in the world becomes one of the twenty most dangerous places to live in, then something is surely wrong.

When gun yielding young men are roaming free spraying bullets at innocent civilians for no reason at all then something is wrong.

When the politicians take this as an opportunity to gain some cheap publicity or sling mud on each other rather than debating on a solution to the problem then something is wrong.

When the deputy chief minister thinks that this is a small issue that could happen in every big city then something is wrong.

When the regional parties can use force against harmless 'outsiders' to protect the so-called local pride but cannot use any of this force to tackle the terrorists or help the injured then something is wrong.

When even after getting frustrated and sick to the stomuch about the on-going terror strikes on my motherland, all I do is sit and write a blog .... something is wrong

Vote for .....

Listing down some of the achievements of our esteemed politicians in recent times ....
-Driving Tata out from W. Bengal
-Creating a hue and cry about the N-Deal without knowing head or tails about it!
-Bribing MPs and accepting bribes for Trust motions in the Parliament. On top of that, bringing wads of currency notes in the session and creating a scene about it
-Killing converts and bragging about it
-Appealling to pardon convicted terrorists
-Claim that all police encounters in which Terrorists get killed are 'fake'.
-Support reservations and treat common man as vote bank.

The list goes on .... I dont remember any of these as the reason why I had voted for them.

Hollow-scope

If your horoscope says that you will not believe your horoscope then what should you do?

If you believe your horoscope as mentioned above, then your horoscope is incorrect because it said that you will not believe it. If you don't believe your horoscope then you proved it right and it means that you should have believed it!! But doing so will prove it wrong!!!

Makes sense??

Blame it on Indians

First the Americans thought that we (as in Indians and Chinese) are pushing the food prices up, now they claim that we are gas-guzzlers and inflating the oil prices too! This has prompted me to think about what their next allegation will be? Here is a list of what I think that Georgy can think of ...

1) Indians and Chinese are pushing the price of Hair Oil up!!
Reason - Most Americans are anyway bald!! The only race with hair to look after is Indian and Chinese. The entire population of Indians with a full head is 100 million times that of America.

2) Indians are pushing the price of Cricketers up!!
Reason - Obviously, Indian Premier League. And NBA tall boys cannot tell a bail from the ball.

3) Indians and Chinese are pushing the cost of Visa fees up!
Reason - Admittedly, that is fast becoming the best and the most reliable source of Income for America and Euro! Higher the demand, dearer the Visas.

4) Chinese are pushing the price of Olympic torch up!!
Reason - With the number of protests and attempts to extinguish it, Mr Oly Torch has really started acting very pricey!

5) Indians are pushing the price of clothing up!!
Reason - same as food, The huge Indian middle class wants to dress up now, the naked, hungry street kid has given way to a brand conscious urban legend.

6) Indians are pushing the cost of slapping up!!
Reason - who can forget the Rs 30 Million Bhajji slap that landed on Sreesanth?

7) Indians are pushing the cost of Television and cable up!!
Reason - With the overwhelming number of Reality shows, T20 Cricket, Saas-bahu soaps, contests, etc, one TV set per household is just not practical.


I am sure there are many more such accusations, and most of them sound silly, but so did the originals such as Indians pushing the food and oil prices up.

An Interview with Mr Oly Torch

Today we had the privilege to interview Mr Oly Torch from Greece who has always been in the limelight, but this time for all the wrong reasons. With protests in almost every continent it has visited and people clambering over one another to extinguish it, we have sneaked into the Vanity van where Mr Torch is taking a break from the unruly protestors outside.

Me: Hello Oly, Thank you for taking some time off your busy schedule to speak to us. How do you feel about the Anti-China protests and the way it has dragged you into the limelight for all the wrong reasons?

Mr Torch: Hell yeah, speaking of wrong reasons, the fact is that the protests are aimed at the wrong reasons and the media has goofed up again, none of these protestors are sorry for Tibet! They are all victims of cheap Chinese goods bought from K-marts and Walmarts of the world and now just got a reason to swear at China.

Me: What! But we always thought that these people are protesting against the inhumane Chinese treatment on the protesting Tibetans.

Mr Torch (peeping from his vanity van window): You see that bloke with a pot belly and the fat cow with a moustache next to him (that’s his wife)... like most of the protestors, he cannot even locate Tibet on the world map. He had bought a cheap Chinese slimming medicine for his wife couple of months back. She didn’t get any slimmer, but after the first week she had a moustache! Now he sneezes every time they kiss!

Me: Oh, that’s sad. And the world thinks that all this is for a Tibetan cause.

Mr Torch: Non-sense. Most of these 'protestors' are using Chinese goods from head to toe! Right from their clothes to the sneakers and cell phones to iPods and they are protesting against China. What an irony!

Me: Ok ok, lets not talk about the protests. Tell us about your job. It must be exhausting travelling across so many time zones and so many countries. What is the most difficult part of your job? It must be passing through extreme weather and staying lit.

Mr Torch: The armpits!

Me: Huh?

Mr Torch: Most of these 'athletes' don’t use any deodorant and they sweat like pigs! I can't bear the stench! And I am worried it might be harmful for my flame as well. What I hate the most is the fact that in all my photos there is an ugly armpit peeping from nowhere!

Me: Yuck! Anyway, are you looking forward to pass through India?

Mr Torch: Of course, I have heard that there I will be in the hands of film stars and rich cricketers. It will be a good photo-op for me; I am tired posing with unknown athletes of yesteryears.

Me: But how is that exciting?

Mr Torch: I am hopeful to end up in some Cola commercial or some Premium Cricket league where some other film stars can pay millions for me!

Me: Hmm, tell us Mr Torch, what is you biggest concern? Is it Global Warming? World Peace? Inflation?

Mr Torch: None of those. My biggest concern is that in the next Olympics I will be replaced by a cheap Chinese battery operated torch. :-(

At this point Mr Oly Torch got a bit emotional, got up and joined the protestors! Only this time no one knew what they were trying to extinguish, they only remembered that it had something to do with China and Tibet so someone went to the nearest Walmart and bought some Tibet flags and Hu effigies (all made in China) and burnt it and then started extinguishing it!